Thursday, February 16, 2006

What I really want, anyway?

Ini postingan yg tertunda. Baru gw nyadar klo ada 1 postingan di folder "Draft". Mo tau kapan? 16 Februari 2006. Gila kan udah setahun lebih ngendon di Draft dan gak jadi di-launch. Isinya? Menye-menye bgt. Yah, sesuailah ma perasaan gw waktu itu. Gak salah juga sih diingat lagi. Silahkan ...



I never ask for more. More than what we have now. It doesn’t mean, however, I don’t want it, I don’t hope for it, I am not in love. Just many things come around my mind. Antara berharap dan menghindar. Antara mencoba atau melupakan. Waktu yg tersisa menghimpit namun juga membatasi. Mengingatkan untuk mengambil langkah yang bijak. Mengapa kenyataan tidak sesuai harapan? Mengapa keinginan tak bisa mengendalikan hati? Aku ingin melupakan. Aku ingin menyimpannya jadi kenangan yang indah. May be this is love. May be not. May be this is worry. May be anxiety. And may be this is mixed feelings of those. I swear to myself to tell those feelings before the day is come. The day we may never meet regularly anymore. After the day we probably meet only on the reunion celebration. Talking about the past. Past that I really want to forget. And now you sit in front of me. Speaking with one of my best friends. Damn! Every single word I want to type are lost from my mind.