Tadi malem, jam 21.33, selama 6 menit 8 detik, dia nelpon gw. Huhuhu... i think this is the time. Time to REALLY REALLY let him go away. "Out of sight, out of mind", moga2 itu yg terjadi ma gw. Kemaren gw bener2 gak bisa nahan diri gw untuk tanyain dan tegasin beberapa hal. Kayaknya si "rasa"-nya udah ilang, cuma kok belum rela ya ? (yeee... emangnya bisa gak ada rasa tp gak rela??). Gw pikir mungkin sebenarnya gw takut aja buat ngelepasin orang yg udah lama bgt ada di hati gw. Takut akan "kekosongan" yg menganga.
In the other hand, my rational-part-of-mind remind me that i can't move forward without taking any risk. "No pain, no gain", kata orang Jawa *basi mode : ON*. Eniwei, at least gw tau sekarang kesibukan dia apa. Seperti yg gw bilang sebelumhya, kita tuh emang BEDA bgt, yg makin jelas aja sejak kmarin. Gw sempat berpikir buat confess, tp gw nyadar gw gak akan seberani itu.
May be just Oprah said, "He's just not into you". Dia ga segitu sukanya sama gw sampe berani ungkapin perasaannya. Dia cuman gak segitunya ma gw. Bukan, ingat, BUKAN karena I'm not good enough, BUKAN karena there's something wrong about me. He's just not into me. I deserve someone better.
The bright side is I'm be more focus on my own plan. Masih banyak tujuan yg mesti gw capai, rencana yg mesti gw susun, proses yg mesti gw jalanin. Kita sama2 jalanin kehidupan masing2. Mungkin hanya soal takdir kalo kita tdk meng-capture target yg sama. That's it. Cukuplah begini saja akhirnya. Gw HARUS RELA.
Prolog :
... i was crying badly after i had hung the phone up ... I didn't say it's easy to do, did I ?
1 comment:
Mir, salut deh buat lo..ini juga gue banget, tp bedanya, gue blm bisa "lepasin" dia. Blm bisa "bunuh" dia dari hati n pikiran gue. Biarpun, gue dah ngelewatin fase menye-menye super berat beberapa bulan lalu.
Post a Comment